Preview The Romance of Nick and Layla

Prologue

I do not believe in love. I think it is a waste of time. You give your heart away once and you are never quite the same. You never get that love back. Maybe, if you were lucky enough, you felt his love for you. I did. But it was gone quicker than it was here. Love consumes you. It envelopes you inside its rough grip until you are powerless. But you do not feel consumed in it, just by it. There are no stars that twinkle, no butterflies in your stomach. And you certainly do not feel like your skin is the only thing keeping you from bursting in every direction. 
     Instead you are worried sick. You forget to live your own life because you are so scared that his will end faster. You want to take care of him. You want to provide for him and be there for him. Until the day he does not need you anymore. Well, he stopped needing me. But I never stopped worrying. I just learned how to conceal it. 
     He broke my heart every day. I was powerless to break his. He had a hold over me; I fell in love with him so easily. I always give in to him. And he knows it. Maybe at one point he loved me. Maybe he was just using me for sex and my companionship. It does not really matter anymore. Our marriage is a sham, but we are the only ones who know it. 
     Nobody even knows we are married, not even his closest friends or his family. But we get dressed up and make appearances just to give people something to talk about. Our faces are plastered in the society pages, in magazines, at televised events.... Everybody loves us together. When you look at us, arms around each other, smiling affectionately into each other, we look perfect. I would believe the lie myself, but I know better. 
     I could divorce him. He could divorce me. So why don't we? I can only speak for myself. I love him too much. The son of a bitch.